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Encouraging Independence in Your Kids

Anthony Cuomo • November 25, 2014

When it comes to organization, are you the one doing most or all of the legwork in your home? It can be easy to slip into the role of knowing where all of the “things” are, anticipating when your children’s school projects are due and taking charge of all of the organizational tasks that your children should be responsible for. If you’re sick and tired of being the one to handle everything for your family members, then read on for tips on encouraging independence in your kids:

Set up a bin system for young children to keep toys in
Instead of letting your kids trash the playroom or toss everything into a big toybox, get them on the right track toward better organization by implementing a system with color-coded or labeled bins. Separate all of your kids’ small toys by type and label each bin with the name of what should be inside. If your children aren’t readers yet, you can take photos of the toys and tape them to the bins. From now on, keeping the playroom or their bedroom picked up is no longer your job; walk them through the process a few times and then let them handle it.

Create a family calendar
If you have more than one child and your kids are busy with various extracurricular activities, then a family calendar is a must. Designate a color for each family member, and require that all activities be listed on the calendar. This is particularly important for teens, who may be at the point of arranging their own transportation to and from activities and events. Make the rule, “If it’s not on the calendar, you’re not guaranteed a ride.” It will only take one or two times of missing a practice or a birthday party before your kids realize that you’re serious about them taking responsibility for letting you know the details of their blossoming social lives.

Show your kids how to use a planner
If your child’s teachers like to assign projects that are all due at different times, it can become overwhelming for you to keep track of it all. The good news is that this is not your job! Once your child is a good reader and writer, give him a planner to use. Show him how to write down his homework assignments, including big projects that are assigned a week or two in advance. Help him break large assignments into smaller chunks, then give him the responsibility of keeping up with these “chunks.” He might fail to plan well the first few times, but don’t be too eager to save him; learning to manage his time well is a skill that will serve him for the rest of his life. Having to scramble to get a 6th grade science project done now is much better than not knowing how to handle the pressure when he’s in college or in the workforce!

Teaching your kids good organizational skills is part of being a good parent. Beginning when your children are little, try to give them increasing responsibilities in keeping track of themselves, their belongings and their time. By the time they are in high school, they should be well-equipped to handle all of these tasks on their own, and it will reduce your stress immensely!

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